Oh What A Wonderful World We Live In
by weapon13WhiteFang
Summary: To those of you who read my dramatic dribbels, drabbels, what-nots, with crack on the side. Be warned. I don't always write happy stories. I write drama. Alot of Drama.
1. The Drunken Bird Sings

He was drunk.

He was totally hammered.

And he had a good reason to be.

"How? How'd dis happen?" His words were slurred, and he was sitting in the back of Trent's GMC Topkick. His buddies, who were as plastered as him, save for Noah himself, who didn't drink, were shaking their heads stupidly.

"I donno bro! Maybe you two werent ment to be." Geoff slurred, leaning against the back window of the truck.

Noah, the only sober one, rolled his eyes. "You hit her. That's what happen!" Noah was bored. He knew the guys needed him to be their "safe man", but that didn't mean he enjoyed it.

Duncan groaned, clutching his head. "Ah! Dammit dude! I-I thinks your right." Noah jumped as Duncan suddenly let out a strangled, angry, cry as he threw his beer bottle onto the asphalt of the bars parking lot.

Eva wasn't gonna be happy about that. The girl hated when people littered her parking lot.

"I-I didn't mean to! It-It all happened so fast!" Duncan snarled, swaying slightly as he slipped off the truck bed, bumping into Trent, who had been staring at the stars the whole time.

"Hey! Hey! Duncam-Duncan! Chill bro!" Noah wrinkled his nose, as Cody came stumbling around the left side of the truck. Cody wasn't much of a drinker. He wasn't really a fan of it. But when he did decide to drink...Well be sure to keep a distant from the "Ladies" man.

Geoff, who finished gulping down more of his whiskey, clumsily climbed out of the back, and threw his arm over Duncan's shoulder. Being the regular party guy of the group, Geoff was pretty good at keeping his words from slurring, as he tried to calm Duncan down.

Said ex-con shrugged his friend off, before punching the side of the truck.

"No-Noah! Give me the keys!" Noah stiffened. This was the worst part about being the "Safe man". When the guys would try to fight him for the keys. Noah wasn't much of a fighter. In fact he didn't fight at all.

The only reason he hadn't been pumbled by the idiots in the past, was because they wee so drunk, as Noah had to do was side step them a few times, and they'd fall over, and he'd help them get up before throwing them into the back of the truck.

He was growing tired of it.

"No. I don't think I will." He said, jumping off the back of the truck, thrusting his hands in his pockets, preparing himself for the worse.

Duncan growled, as he stumbled towards him. "Give em to me, ya sunuvabitch!" Noah took a big step back as Duncan made a lunge for him. The drunken ex-con stumbled, before turning around and trying again. The others cheered him on, as Noah continued to dodge him.

After a few minutes of the same scene, Duncan finally feel over, earning a sigh from Noah. "Drunken fool." He murmured, leaning down to pick Duncan up by his dog collar, causing the teen to gasp and struggle to his feet.

"Everybody in the truck. Party's over." The boys groaned. Grabbing Duncan by his shoulder, Noah navigated him to the front passenger seat, and strapped the idiot in, before making sure Trent, Geoff, and Cody were sitting down in the back.

Jumping in the driver seat, Noah quickly turned on the car, letting beethoven's 5th drift from the radio, as he pulled out of the bar parking lot.

"I can-can't believe she left me! For him!" Duncan moaned, spiitingout the word him like it was a nasty flavor in his mouth. "Jackass! He-He was suppose to-to be my bud!" Noah flinched as Duncan kicked the floor board.

Duncan's glazed eyes darkened, as Noah neared a familiar road. A road he recognized even in his drunken stat. "Turn here!" He growled, earning a raised brow from Noah. "Turn here dammit!" Duncan snapped, trying the grab the wheel from Noah.

Growling, Noah grabbed Duncan's arm before it reached the stearing wheel. Pushing Duncan's hand away, Noah signaled, before quickly turning down a road he knew very well.

He knew where Duncan wanted to go. He knew what was going to happen. And yet he continued driving towards the large white house in his sight.

Coming to a stop, he flinched as he heard Geoff pound on the top of the truck. "Yo! We gonna hava party here, or something?" Noah frowned, as he watched Duncan stumble out of the truck, before slamming the door.

The porch lights came on, and Noah closed his eyes as a familiar form stepped out onto the porch. "Where is she!" Noah heard Duncan yell, as he stumbled across the yard towards his once best friend. "Go home, Duncan. Please." Noah shook his head, before unstrapping himself and stepping out of the car.

He locked eyes with the other man from across the yard. "I'm sorry DJ. You know he would have just tried to drive here if I took him home."

DJ, wearing only a white tank-top and red shorts sighed, as Duncan made it towards the dark skinned man. "Where is she, asshole!" he slurred, as he attempted to square his shoulders.

"She's sleeping Duncan. She doesn't want to see you bro." Duncan let out a dark, high pitched laugh. "Bull shit asshole! She always wants to see me. She loves me." Noah made his way over to the two. Duncan was getting loud. And if they didn't quit him soon, one of the neighbors was probably gonna call the cops.

"Duncan! She's asleep! We can come back tomorrow! lets just go home." Noah growled, as the others in the back of the truck yelled curses and boo's towards DJ and Noah. "Stay outta this pencil dick!" Duncan hollored, pushing Noah away.

"I ain't leavin til I see her!" Duncan stubbornly slurred, as he tried to push past DJ, only to be pushed back by his own weight.

"DJ? What's going on?" Noah felt his stomach drop as Courtney appeared in the doorway. She was wearing a T-shirt two sizes to big for her, and a pair of stripped pajama pants.

DJ turned his head to look at her. "It's ok, Courtney. Go back to sle-" DJ was cut off, as Duncan stumbled past him, and stopped right in front of the door. Courtney's eyes widened.

"Duncan? Wha-What are you-?" Courtney was cut off as Duncan tried to open the door. Seeing her panic, DJ quickly put himself between the door and Duncan.

"Courtney! How could you leave me! For this fucker!" Dunacn hollored, as Courtney's eye's began to water. Noah, finally having enough, grabbed Duncan by the back of his Dog collar. "Enough of this! DJ! I'll talk to you later. Courtney...I'll see you at work." Noah said, looking away from Courtney, as DJ slipped through the door, and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry Duncan. But..You did this to yourself when you hurt me." Noah heard Courtney whisper.

Noah, pulling a struggling Duncan, closed his eyes as he threw him into the truck, ignoring his curses and threats, as he called out Courtney's name.

_'I'm to old for this.'_

_--_

**I know. I made Duncan seem...Bad.**

**But come on people. Think. **

**Duncan has a record. He's a bad ass. Bad asses usually drink.**

**And can be proned to violence. **

**Don't yell at me because everyone wants to write him as the good guy.**

**He is a good guy. Just not that 'angelic'**

**ALSO! I'm still gonna work on PS God I Hate You.**

**I just feel like making some drabbels and random Drama scenes.**

**Duncan/Courtney fans. Don't kill me.**

**Noah fans. I hope you enjoyed.**


	2. Kiss And Get It Over With!

"Why do you have to be such a jerk?"

"Why do you have to be so caring and goody-goody?"

It had started out as a normal day on Total Drama Island. The birds were singing. The sharks were eating, and Chris and Kia were at each others throats. Again.

And bets were being taken on who would win.

"Dude. Sunshine to nice to dish out anything good. Chris is totally gonna win this one." Duncan exclaimed, a large grin in place as all the guys nodded in agreement.

Heather rolled her black eyes. "As if! Chris is to much of a loser to win a fight. That's why he has Chef!" The girls nodded. Heather may be a pain, but she knew a few good things about verbal banters.

"I don't understand why those two wont admit they like each other." Noah mumbled from his book, _'A Tale of Two Cities'_. "Is it that hard for Chris to say "I love you."

Duncan scoffed, as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Why should Chris have to say anything. The dude is never suppose to admit they like a chick. That's so gay, man." Izzy, who had been in her own world til now, let out a loud "Ha!" Causing everyone to jump.

"It's always the girl who has to admit it! Never the guy! 'Cause he's to manly', or 'It's gay to admit your feelings', and blah, blah, BLAH!" Izzy foamed, stomping over to Duncan.

"You wanna know what I think? Any guy who doesn't have the balls to go up to a girl and tell them how they feel, is nothing but a weak, asshole who doesn't deserve to be loved!" By now Izzy's face was about an inch from Duncan's, as a maniac gleam was in her eyes, and a scowl in place.

Geoff held up his hands as he stood beside the two. "Whoa! Easy Izzy! Lets try to chill!" Everyone's attention was now on Izzy and Duncan, as the two stared each other down. It was an interesting sight, really. Two people who had both experienced a prison of some kind, and Juvie in their younger days. There was really no telling in who would win a fight if those two ever dished it out.

Izzy sent a death glare towards Geoff, who quickly backed off when Duncan did the same. "Stay out of this!" The two growled to Geoff, before they continued staring each other down.

Courtney shook her head, as she took a seat by Noah. This fight was pointless. And she knew well enough that if those two wanted to, they could keep at each others throats all night.

"You wanna read this?" Courtney raised a brow, as a book was practically shoved into her face by Noah, who gave her an 'I-know-what-your-thinking' look. Courtney glanced at the cover of the book. _'The Sword and the Stone.'_ It was a book she hadn't read since middle school. A book she had once found interesting.

With a shrug of her shoulder, Courtney excepted the book, and started reading, before proping herself up against Noah's shoulder.

"How long until Chris admits he likes Kia?" Courtney asked, not looking up from her book. Noah gave a slight shrug. "I'd give it another week."

Silence was meet between the two. "How long until Izzy and Duncan break their sexual tension, and admit they like each other?" Noah asked, flipping the page. Courtney looked up at the two, who wee still glarring ateach other.

"I give it three days."

**Ah crack.**

**Ya gotta love it .**

**Oh! And if you haven't been reading my story, PS God I Hate You, Kia wont be familiar to you.**


	3. When Two Love One

It was quiet on the Island today. Today's challenge, a game of Xtreme Bowling, had ended with the Bass winning, and the Gophers were now discussing in secret, on who to vote off.

Placing her back against the railing, Kia sighed as she watched the guys play a game of Frisbee. She almost burst out laughing, as she watched Owen trip on his feet, and get knocked in the head by the Frisbee as he fell.

Watching the guys for a while, Kia turned away from the game for a second, as a feminine shadow covered her sunlight. Squinting up, Kia smiled as a young girl with straight, layered, brunette hair that went past her shoulders. She wore a green sweatshirt, dark washed jeans and green flip-flops. She stood over Kia, staring at her with those piercing green eyes.

"Hey Lena! How are ya?" Kia asked, patting the step, making room for her. Lena smiled as she took a seat, stretching as the warmth of the sun bathed her. "Ah! Don't you just love these sunny days? Nature is alive and gracing us with its beauty!" Lena happily exclaimed, as she popped her back.

Kia lightly chuckled. Lena was a big nature buff. She was known as the "Tree-Hugger" of Total Drama Island, and a highly known protester. She and Duncan had shared a jail cell at some point in time, due to her being arrested at the protest rallies, and causing the most trouble.

Kia found the girl to be kind and amusing. Plus, it was fun to watch her berate people when they littered, hair sprayed the crap out of the ozone, or messed with any tree on the Island!

"How come your not joining the guys for their Frisbee game? I figured you and DJ would be all over that?" Kia asked, as Lena, eyes closed, bathed in the sun. "DJ can take the guys with out me! My little nature buddy needs some hard time alone time!" Lena answered, opening her eyes to look over at DJ, who chucked the Frisbee at Duncan, who, trying to show off to Courtney, did a back-flip and caught it.

Kia and Lena laughed, as Courtney rolled her eyes, before turning away to hide her blush. "I don't see why she wont admit she likes him. Its starting to get on my nerves!" Lena finally grunted, as Kia shook her head.

"Have you ever had a crush on anyone, Lena?" Kia asked, causing Lena's eyes to shoot open, and her to almost slide off the steps of the cabin! Kia raised a brow in surprise, as she helped Lena up. "I'll take that as a yes." Kia chuckled, as Lena's face went bright red.

"Well then! you should know that its hard to tell the person you like...That you like them." Kia said, her eyes glazing over slightly, as a soft smile spread across her face. "Sometimes the guy you like...Is someone you cant tell. Because you feel it will only cause trouble...And you know others wouldn't approve." Lena eyed the girl suspiciously. Kia was talking as if she had experience with this feeling.

"So who is he?" Lena finally asked, causing Kia's head to whip towards her, with her eyes wide and a blush in place. "I..I dont-" Lena cut her off. "Its someone on the island, isnt it! Oh Kia! All the guys are too young for you! Your like, twenty-two!" Lena gasped in disbelief, as Kia's face grew redder.

"Lena! I never said I liked any of these boys! I mean, come on! They're like, six years younger than me! That's horrible that you'd think that!" Kia stammered, and slightly growled, as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Lena narrowed her eyes slightly. "So then you must like Chris or Chef, seeing as they're the only other guys on the island!" Lena's voice border lined possessiveness as she said their names, causing Kia's eyes to narrow at her. "And? What if I do?" She bit back, as she stood from her placed her hands on her waist.

Lena did the same, her body shaking slightly. "Well! I was just curious! Seeing as I didn't think he was your type! But I guess if you _LIKE_ Chef, that's cool." Lena said, flipping her hair back coolly. Kia's face reddened, and her nose wrinkled in disgust!

"As if I could like wannabe sergeant! I was talking about Chris!" Kia blurted out, before covering her mouth. Lena's eyes widened, as she took a step back. Her expression was blank, as she stared at her for a minute or two.

"You cant like Chris! I like Chris!" This caught Kia off guard, as Lena's face went red, and her hands flew into the air! Kia also took a step back, before the two began to glare each other down.

The twos yelling must have caught the other camper's attention, as they all came bounding over to the Bass cabin. "Hey! What the hells all the noise about?" Duncan asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Courtney came beside them, as her and the other girls recognized the stance and look the two were giving each other!

This was boy trouble.

"Whoa! Tread lightly dude! Tread lightly!" DJ whispered, as both girls heads shot towards the two, and they glared down at him. Big juvie Duncan gulped, as he raised his hands up in surrender, and took a step back. "Duncan. Stay. Out. Of. Are. Business!" The two growled in sync, before their eyes shot back towards each other.

There was a long hour of tense silence, before Kia opened her mouth.

"Hes to old for you!"

"Only by six years! At least I complement his hair!"

"So! Ive seen him in only in his boxers!"

"Oh well, whoop-die-freakin-doo to you! Ive made him breakfast!"

"You cant have him!" The two yelled in unison, as everyone stared at them wide eyed, and backed away in fear and confussion! "Oh, snap!" DJ gasped, as the two brought themselves so close to each other, their noses barely touched.

"OK! I am sooo confused? Who are they, like, talking about?" Lindsay whispered to Owen, who hid behind Izzy, as her, Duncan, Gwen, and Trent took bets on who would win. Heather sighed in annoyance. "Isn't it obvious! They're like, fighting over a guy! And from the sounds of it, an older guy!" Heather examined her nails in boredom, as DJ and Geoff came up behind the two, and wrapped their arms around them.

"Easy, Lena! You two are suppose to be friends!" DJ grunted in Lena's ear, as she elbowed him in the stomach, trying to get out of his grasp. Geoff yelped in pain, as Kia dug her nails into his arm. "Who! Chill dudette! Chill!"

"Oh man! They are both totally out for blood!" Cody esclaimed beside Noah, who wore an amused grin on his face. "Hehe! Excellent." Noah laughed, as Cody took a step away from him.

"What is going on over here?" Everyone's head turned, as Chris McClain walked over to them, scratching his black haired head. At the sound of his voice, Lena and Kia both turned to him with happy smiles, before both rammed their elbows into their captures groins, and sprinted towards Chris, who let out a cry of surprise, as Lena attached to one arm, and Kia to the other.

"Chris! Lets go talk about tomorrows challenge! Just me and you!" Kia exclaimed, as she pulled Chris towards her. Lena growled, before putting on a sweet smile. "No, no! Lets go talk about what you use to make your hair so wavy! I'm dying to know!" The two glared each other down from their latched on arm, as both pulled Chris towards theme.

All the campers watched in amusement and confussion as Chris was turned into a tug-a-war rope by the two girls.

"Should we help the guy?" geoff wheezed, as he and DJ crawled and stumbled towards their teammates. Noah chuckled. "I don't think that would be a wise decision! Unless you wanna end up in the hospital with nurse Chef." Everyone cringed at the thought.

It was best to let them be.

"Your on your own Chris. Your on your own." Duncan chuckled darkly, as he continued to watch the two tug away at Chris, who looked like he'd rather be somewhere else than here!

"Help!"

**LOL! Poor Chris! Looks like hes having girl troubl! XD**

**Lena belongs to 1000GreenSun!! Whos sooo sweet for letting me borrow Lena!!**


End file.
